Counter Terrorism

The whole Sania-Shoaib marriage controversy resembles a lot like Sania Mirza's career itself. Lots of hype on a stupid and ridiculous premise. When she first broke through onto the tennis scene, she was called the great Indian hope for a grand slam. But, it was pretty clear early on that she was, at best, an average player who didn't really have the discipline or focus to make the most of her inadequate talent. The media however always found words like tennis sensation or tennis ace to describe her much to the consternation of true sports fan. To her credit, she did win Hyderabad open some millions of years ago, where, it must be mentioned, she was the top seeded player. Let's not even talk about wins in mixed doubles in slams cause every self respecting sports buff knows that these events are more of showpiece events, where people get to see some yesteryear players like Navratilova, Steffi Graff and the likes in action. Well its another debate that Leander Pace has made a career out of playing and quite often, winning these events.

However this piece is not about Sania and her mediocrity and how we tend to celebrate mediocrity in various walks of our life. This is about taking revenge from Pakistan. This is about a strategy that would payback Pakistan for its sponsored terrorism directed towards us. How?? you ask??? Well, read on...

Now that we have established that Sania Mirza is a good-for-nothing sportswoman, whose only aim was to grab as many eyeballs as she could in her playing days. She astutely knew that her playing days were numbered and she needed to make as many bucks as possible through advertisements. She succeeded. Now she is marrying a Pakistani and might even settle in Pakistan. I would love it if she did. There are whole bunch of other people in our country that we would love to see do their stuff in Pakistan cause we have experienced how mind numbing that experience could be.

So here is my plan. We identify people who have F*&#@d with our minds day in and day out. Those people who have destroyed a whole generation through television sets and other modes of communication, must be put in Pakistan for this mission. Get them married to Pakistanis or send them in the garb of promoting culture and peace to Pakistan and they will wreak such havoc in Pakistan that even the Taliban Jehadis will be ashamed of their destructive abilities.

First among these lethal human bombs would be poeple who have had their Swayamvars on TV including the participants. Lets ship them all to Lahore and telecast 3 episodes back to back everyday of these swayamvars on their national TV. After each episode, make sure that we telecast Rakhi Sawant's interview where she pretends to be shy. Then we telecast an interview of Rahul Mahajan where he claims to be pious and drug-free.

If that doesnt destroy Lahore and other cities of Pakistan, we send all the people involved in making saas-bahu serials. Right from Tulsi and Parvati to the cameraman and background score, we just pound Pakistan with episodes after episodes of sari clad women crying hoarse over something that would remain a mystery even after years.

Another bunch of people who could be devastating in their effect when they do their stuff are all the flop sons and daughters of bollywood heroes. Starting from Abhishek Bacchan to Uday Chopra and from Tusssshaaar Kapoor to Esha Deol. Unleash them on Pakistan. They would subject Pakistanis to movies like Drona and Pyaar Impossible and by the time Pakistani Public comes out of theaters on Fridays, they would have been robbed of their ability to think and comprehend. They would be walking the streets of Pakistan like dumbf@#k Zombies.

There is no dearth of potential human bomb talents here. All we need is to identify them and let them explode across the border. We have suffered long and hard, now its their turn.

Please do suggest other names who could be added to the list of our weapons against our enemy in your comments if you agree with the plan.

Till then

Adios.